Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
