margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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