HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize