A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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