I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
PANTIES FOUND
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