We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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