I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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