You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
