Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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