I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize