Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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