I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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