my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
How's work?
Spinning.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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