I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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