Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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