i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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