please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
