I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
