Life is so much better after having sex.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
