I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm lost and stupid without you.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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