We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
