highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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