need another drink. this is the easiest way
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
