What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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