1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
home. puking in laundry basket.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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