Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
