im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
