My hand turned me down
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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