IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
