I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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