real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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