Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
too bad you live with your parents still
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
