After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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