i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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