Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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