he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
