you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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