nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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