woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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