So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
