so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
