So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
