Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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