At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize