All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
