I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I looked at my own cervix.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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