I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
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