I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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