just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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