we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
