a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
