Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
