I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize