I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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