The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
