i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
