Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
