I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
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