I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
