I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
