So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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