whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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