why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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