Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i love accidental penises.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
