i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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